she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
