what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
