You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
