Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
