Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
