Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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