he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you traded sex for a burrito?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
