You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
not ubering you a puppy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
