is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
