I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
