How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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