I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
