Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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