The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
