dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
