For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Two words: blizzard sex
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
