mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You are a genius and a whore.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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