hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im six kinds of drunk right now
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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