She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
