I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
