Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
