i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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