I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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