Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
