Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
