Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
