Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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