are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
