Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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