Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
