Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
