Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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