I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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