trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
