we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
