in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize