i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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