Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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