the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
