I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
