white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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