mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
