whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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