What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
