This is not my ceiling
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
