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• (415): View more from California

  The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.

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• (818): View more from California

  I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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• (530): View more from California

  he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat

  (614): View more from Ohio

  repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES

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• (619): View more from California

  For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (209): View more from California

  I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

  (209): View more from California

  Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  Dude I've been in FL since Monday.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Thats so sweet

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