things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
