Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter