i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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