Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..