...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I touched a dick in church today
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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