my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
