But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
