Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
