yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
id be glad to
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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