mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Someone shattered a urinal.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
