Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
