he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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