fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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