That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
