You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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