my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
