I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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