It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
