do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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