I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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