One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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