Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
