problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
