its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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