I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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