can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
