Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
