he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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