I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
last night I used snow as a chaser
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