Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
